


Night light

by therandomfizzer



Category: Bonanza
Genre: Gen, Western, fear of the dark, some ben in there too, taken from my own experience lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 12:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20564336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therandomfizzer/pseuds/therandomfizzer
Summary: Based on something Joe revealed in ''The Stillness Within'', that when Hoss was a kid he was afraid of the dark





	Night light

**Author's Note:**

> Hey did y'all know that the 60th anniversary of the show is coming up?? On the 12th baby!! I'll be writing a special little story for it :) 
> 
> (i relate to Hoss because i, too, still need a light on to sleep. night light uses rise up)
> 
> (also motivation is a pain in the ass, i really wish i could get out more fanfics more often!!!)

Hoss drags himself up the long staircase, letting his feet lead him to his room. He opens the door and reaches out for the matches, striking one and lighting the oil lamp. As the room comes to life he wearily makes his way to his bed, not even bothering to measure the distance between him and the bed before falling forward and landing into the softness face first, causing the bed to wobble. He had such a hard day, everything seemed to go wrong in one way or another. Him getting frustrated with his brothers and the hands that he ended up taking on much more work than he usually does. Hoss thinks he got through it out of shear frustration at them all. 

Both body and mind exhausted, he slowly turns over until he’s completely on the bed and not half hanging over the side. He gets into a comfortable position and it feels like pure heaven. It feels like he could just melt into the soft mattress. But alas his feet are killing him and he needs to get changed. Slowly he brings his foot up to him and heaves off the boot, throwing it blindly somewhere in the room. He does the same with the other boot. Sighing because of the effort, he decides just to sleep in his clothes. He manages to take off his thick belt and brown vest and toss them somewhere too. He loosens up his pants so he can feel more comfortable and pulls his shirt out. 

Enjoying the peace for a moment, he then thinks about if Hop Sing or Pa entered the room and tripped over his boots. Being yelled at first thing in the morning is not something he enjoys. Gathering what little strength he has left he heaves himself up right, bracing himself on the bed so he doesn’t get dizzy and fall over, he gets up and moves his boots and other clothing over to the side of the room out of the way. He takes the oil lamp and brings it beside his bed. Too tired to read at night like he usually does, he gets under his covers and gets into a comfortable position. He reaches over slightly to blow out the lamp and sighs as he can finally relax. 

He thinks about what happened that day, how everyone seemed to be so incompetent and unwilling to just get on with it. Even Adam and Joe were holding up the works. They kept butting heads over what needs to happen next and what should go where. Those two are impossible sometimes. Nevermind. Tomorrow they’ll have to make up for the extra work he did today. 

Some minutes pass and sleep still hadn’t taken over him yet. He rolls onto his side. A few more minutes and he rolls back over onto his other side. Suddenly not feeling as tired as he was before he opens his eyes and peers around the room. Listening hard all he can hear is silence. Everyone went to bed hours ago. Furrowing his brow he looks towards his window. Usually there’s some light from the moon peeking in but tonight it’s pitch black. He looks around the room, trying to see if he can make out any objects in the dark. He can’t. It’s completely black. 

Suddenly feeling an old familiar swell of anxiety, it feels like he’s suffocating in the darkness. Panicking he blindly reaches out to the bedside table, fumbling for the handle and opening the draw and finding the matchbox inside. He leans up on his elbows for support and he strikes a match, the light instantly relieves the feeling. The tiny light making out the objects close by, he relights the lamp and suddenly he can see his room again. 

Keeping it the dimmest it can be, he rolls back over and looks over his room. Studying the objects and feeling the anxiety quell within him. When he was a kid he was scared of the dark. He thought he saw monsters. It felt like a black blanket had been put over him and he couldn’t get out from it. He’d call out for Pa in a trembling scared voice and within almost seconds, Ben would open the door to his room in his red gown and a worried look on his face. Seeing his Pa and the light made him feel better. Ben would sit down on the bed and ask him what was wrong. Hoss tried to explain why he didn’t like the dark, why it made him panic, but the right words weren’t coming out, and in the end he just gave up. But Ben knew what he meant, putting a calm and loving fatherly hand on his son’s shoulder, he said ‘’Why don’t we leave the lamp on tonight, hm? In the morning we’ll see if it helps’’ He smiled and Hoss smiled and nodded back. 

Ben relights Hoss’s lamp again and puts it on the dimmest it can be. Just enough to light some of the room, but not too bright that it will keep Hoss from sleeping. Hoss getting back under his sheets again and Ben kissing him on the forehead goodnight, he looks around his room again. He can make out the toys and books he has, studying them for a few minutes, before finally feeling tired again. 

He looks over to his lamp, his beacon of light and safety for so many years, Hoss begins to closes his eyes, feeling like a child again, and he drifts off into a peaceful sleep. 


End file.
